The New Rules of Engagement

Written By Caitlin Mayance

An accurate portrayal of life in 2025 by PelleCass

Over the past weeks and months, I’ve been tracking a number of shifts: quiet influence, soft power 2.0, going offline, escapism to name a few. All super fascinating but just the tip of the iceberg nonetheless.

What lies beneath? Control. And the desire to reclaim it for ourselves.

Not especially shocking given the chaotic world we’re living through. What I find interesting is how that desire to take back control is showing up - at times in pretty conflicting ways. And when we only focus on the topline trends, we miss that control is consistently at the root.

When existence feels chaotic, creating smaller circles of trust becomes a means for survival. Control through community. Agency through back-channel belonging. And where better to follow that line of thinking than: Religion.


“religion provides a unifying framework for the world in which we live: it allows us to make sense of our world in a way that enables us to function effectively because we can control its more erratic behaviour.”

-Robin Dunbar, How Religion Evolved

Religion as a concept i.e. not modern institutions (according to his research) is simply something humans do. A means of bonding (through ritual, stories, singing, dancing etc.) beyond our biologically-restricted capabilities (150 people) and through bonding, finding a sense of control in an otherwise hostile and unfathomable universe.

Religion is partially maintained and transmitted through rituals, stories and group activities. These days our godless rituals might be matcha-based, stories and myths told by micro-creators and sharing a sense of belonging through group activities e.g. run club and raving about how great substack is.

We want intentional tech. We want close, familiar creators. We want glimmers of joy. We’re not being hypocritical, we just want some semblance of control in all this chaos. We’re saying: “I don’t want more of the same, I want connection and control”

All of a sudden, our recent brand obsession with community makes much more sense. The collective empathy of a generation of marketers transformed our innnate, biological response to bond (and survive) under stress - together - into a buzzword.

So yes, our desire for control and connection in times of chaos is not new, but the ways it’s showing up - and the actions we can take moving forward, are somewhat novel:

Digital Fatigue

Focusing here on the digital, but I’d also argue we see the same behaviours and lack of control across dating, work and political life too. When social environments become toxic to bonding, we instinctively create boundaries.

Insight: 47% of UK Gen-Z would prefer a world without the internet. Their digital fatigue is manifesting as disconnection, deception (42% lie to guardians), and self-protection (27% want phones banned at school).

Opportunity: Design offline co-created experiences (think: run club, vibey chess club etc.) for phone-free connection. Reframe digital engagement as opt-in, mindful, and useful. Create offerings that support intentional online moments, offline community, and privacy-respecting tools.

Moving Forward: Audit your current digital strategy. What’s your current purpose in showing up online? Design “opt-out” events, experiences or product features. Market them as tools for agency and irl social connection.

Creator > Institutional Trust

Insight: Consumers follow almost 2x more creators than brands.4 83% trust them. Creator partnerships now claim 24% of social budgets among top-performing brands. See also: the $2.3 Billion Industry of Belief.

Opportunity: Brands and institutions are definitively no longer the primary voice. Personality-driven storytelling and trust-led communities are outperforming corporate messaging.

Moving Forward: Are you just doing influencer marketing or have a robust creator strategy? Make sure it’s the latter. Co-create with micro/mid-tier creators who share your brand’s values and can serve as trusted cultural storytellers.

Economic Nihilism

Insight: From white wine nostalgia5 to adult play and small luxuries6, Gen Z’s “chaotic consumption”7 (think: a £300 Prada keychain on a £10 Uniqlo via Vinted shoulder bag) is a natural emotional self-protection response to unstable, polycrisis times. TBH I’m unconvinced this is generation-specific; as a Millennial I absolutely remember the feeling of “I’ll never afford a house so let me just spend £10 on Pret everyday”. The brands have changed but the logic has not.

Opportunity: People are craving emotional regulation, control, and comfort. Resilience = good news. Help them.

Moving Forward: Position your brand as a source of grounding. Offer simple joys, analog experiences (see: point one), education and resources and products that don’t scale at the cost of soul. Embrace storytelling that honors smallness and slowness. The Great Exhaustion of 2026 is coming, are you ready?

Take this to your next meeting:

The old playbooks assume people want more or just new: more options, new content, different everything. But what if what they actually crave is better control over their experience?

Then the questions become:

How might we design experiences that increase user agency?

Where are we accidentally creating chaos when our audience needs a spot of calm?

What control are we taking away that we could gladly give back?

Think: brands that give users an actual say in collection creation, product offerings and algorithm curation (Pinterest is on the right track here, allowing users to tune their feed). In a nutshell: stop exploiting, start helping.

The funny thing about control, is that in giving more space for it, you create greater trust and loyalty in return. That’s not to say that this is a super cool, manipulative tool, but when done intentionally and well i.e. sacrificing short-term metrics for the long-haul and being genuinely human-centred - totally worth it.

The world will likely continue feeling chaotic for the foreseeable, but within that chaos, people don't need to be even more overwhelmed. And at the risk of repeating every single summary I’ve ever written: nobody is coming to save us, the future is ours to design.

Our customers want to feel capable. They don't need more, more, more - they need better with a sense of control and connection.

And if you can offer that path, you might just win.

Caitlin Mayance https://nouvot.co
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