What Would it Take to Change Your Mind?
The flexible pleating of Les Ateliers Lognon featured in fave TOOLS Magazine issue #3 TO FOLD
These days, opinions come at us as a never-ending stream of absolute certainties.
It’s not new news that online discourse has devolved into opposing trenches, with each side chucking hot takes and certainties across a no-man's land where nuance once existed. Scroll through any comment section and witness the drama. A cesspit of unshakeable convictions where flexible thinking is far from consideration.
Beyond comment sections, into real life, resilience is not demonstrated through rigidity but flexibility. Like pleated fabric or molten metals, the most resilient minds know when to bend rather than break; to keep moving, creating, pursuing.
So what if we regularly asked ourselves - and others - "What would it take to change your mind?"
A simple little question that hits hard. Eight easy words strung together that pries open an invite to re-examine our assumptions and imagine an alternative situation in which our current stance might be, maybe, could be…incomplete.
Could this be the question that boots up flexible thinking?
Flexible thinking sounds like it means changing your mind on an hourly whim. Wishy-washy flip-flop. But no, it’s a much more sophisticated cognitive skill that involves a veritable shopping list of other excellent skills such as:
Adaptability: Adjusting thoughts and approaches when faced with new circumstances or information, like switching tracks to avoid the head-on collision of an incoming train.
Problem-Solving: Viewing challenges from multiple angles rather than defaulting to familiar, comfy-cushion routine patterns. Personally, I think curiosity and playfullness are critical add-on-skills for this one.
Open-Mindedness: Genuinely considering perspectives that challenge your existing beliefs. I like imagining a full Wes Anderson storyline of the alternative. Might not love it heart and soul, but we can appreciate the vibe.
Emotional Regulation: Managing the discomfort that bubbles up when deeper viewpoints are questioned. For the pros. I won’t pretend to have advice on this one: ever the Brit, my education on emotional regulation is very “stiff upper lip” aka unhealthy. When I’ve learnt good tips, I’ll share, but today is not that day.
Growth Mindset: Living in the knowledge that your intelligence and abilities can be continually developed through dedication and effort. Tip: read Carol Dweck’s Growth Mindset and change your life. The world is your oyster.
Flexible thinking isn't easy and changing our minds takes effort. As Adam Grant’s book Think Again discusses: It's cognitively expensive to reconsider established beliefs, especially when we've publicly committed to them. The sunk cost of our previous thinking patterns can feel enormous.
And yet, flexible thinking correlates strongly with better decision-making, reduced anxiety, more effective leadership, stronger relationships and improved innovation.
It’s not because we’re terrible people that we might intuitively avoid flexible thinking but because our brains tend to hate uncertainty. We crave neat categories, clear villains, singular heroes and tidy solutions. Ambiguity and the grey zone creates cognitive discomfort, so we rush to judgment, plant our flags, and defend positions as though our identities depend on it.
Not to mentiont that our digital-first environment has been designed to actively encourage and amplify it: our algorithmically-boosted content feeds reward controversial certainty and outrage while punishing nuance. I’m sure you’ve noticed how "it depends" gets steamrolled beneath a cement-slop of "THIS is the EXACT problem with THE WORLD today"?
The ability to adapt our thinking - to hold contradictory ideas simultaneously while working towards truth - has become unfashionable precisely when we need it most.
But good news! Just like any skill, mental flexibility can be developed with practice. (Here’s another sign from the universe to tell you to start meditating and improve your overall neuroplasticity.)
Here’s how…
Let’s get practical. More questions for your Toolbox and daily practice.
Issue #3 To Fold TOOLS Magazine
The next time you find yourself in a conversation headed towards heated debate or even just in a meeting at a significant decision-making moment, try some conversation adjusters:
"What would shift your perspective on this? Why"
"Which parts of the opposition might have a little bit of merit? Why"
"What assumptions am I making that could be questioned? Why"
"Ok, how could this look from a completely different angle? Why"
"What are we trying to accomplish here, and should we reconsider that? Why"
Now, the goal of asking these questions isn’t about trying to directly change outcomes to fit your personal objectives (that’s called manipulation) but instead, aiming to increase our collective abilities to consider alternatives - that’s the essence of flexible thinking, folks!
Sounds good on paper so far, right? But wait, there’s more!
Developing mental flexibility can be improved via daily practice, just like exercise and going to the gym. Taking it beyond some abstract set list or abstract theory, here's what practising flexible thinking can include:
Be Open to New Information: Reading perspectives that challenge your existing views. I can really recommend picking up a weekend paper once in a while as an alternative to boiling with rage at some subreddit online.
Seek Diverse Viewpoints: Seek out and have conversations with people who think fundamentally differently. The goal isn’t to have arguments and instantly change their mind (nor necessarily yours overnight) but to be curious and listen actively. We’re divided more than ever right now, I think we just want to be heard.
Reflect on Assumptions: If you’re not already, start a morning journal practise and ask yourself sometimes what beliefs you hold most strongly, and why: identifying what evidence led you there.
Ask Why? Often: Practice critical thinking, follow the incentives path i.e. who benefits from x or y or z. Channel your inner toddler and ask “Why?” until you’re questioning the existence of humanity.
Cultivate a Growth Mindset: Noticing when you feel defensive and getting curious instead i.e. recognising when you think something feels like the end of the world and instead asking yourself “what would it look like if this was successful? What would be possible?” Viewing challenges as opportunities to expand your thinking rather than threats to your identity
Embrace Change: It’s a constant afterall! Celebrate instances where you've changed your mind, create mental reward systems and share this info with others. It’s time to normalise changing our mind from time to time.
The goal isn't to become wishy-washy or abandon your values at the drop of a hat but to approach complex issues and conversations with a level of humility and curiosity.
“The polarisation plaguing our discourse won’t be solved with more facts. We’re drowning in information and starved for wisdom.”
Creating change - whether in organisations, communities, or hell, just for ourselves - increasingly depends on building bridges of understanding across differences.
As consultants, communicators, and humans, we all carry special responsibility for modelling flexible thinking. Our friends, stakeholders, clients and audiences are navigating unprecedented complexity - they need guides who can help them adapt rather than simply entrench.
When we approach transformation with rigid certainty, we limit possibilities. When we approach it with flexible thinking, we expand them.
So: What would it take to change your mind?
Or perhaps more importantly: When was the last time you did?